October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. The month that we focus on making people aware that babies do die in the womb, during labor and delivery, after birth, and after they get home from the hospital. Just because you get pregnant doesn't mean you get to keep your baby. Some of us have the high honor and calling to parent a child -or children- who have gone on to die before us.
How I parent my children? My daughter and my son? Very carefully. I speak their names whenever I get the chance. Just because they've died doesn't mean they finish being a part of our family! I mark their birthdays, anniversaries and due dates on the calendar. I do not go to work on those days as they are sacred. I don't go to work on MY birthday or my husband's birthday, so why would I on my children's? I make a special meal and invite family over for a balloon release on their birthdays. I tell their stories every chance I get, not just in October, all year round.
I go out of my way to honor other mothers and fathers who are missing their dear babies. I'm currently curating a memory basket for a friend who lost her twins and is receiving very little (if any) support from family. I've no experience with twin loss but damn it, I'm gonna support this mummy who is clearly grieving, and any way I can. Honey, you know who you are, your memory basket is on its way to you soon. Hopefully by Friday!
I've befriended two student midwives going through their training at the hospital where both my sweet Julia and lil studmuffin Evan were born. I've shared my stories, my experiences, my wishes and dreams, the things I WISH the staff had done differently, etc. I hope that my stories have opened their eyes to the grieving side of parenting.
This year I'm participating in CarlyMarie's Project Heal Capture Your Grief project. I'm posting on my instagram feed -I'm @mamajillaroo- using #captureyourgrief. They'll be posted on my twitter feed -I'm @karadavies- using the same hashtag.
Join me in expressing my grief in pictures. Read up and get all the information here.