When we exchanged rings, we hoped our family of two would grow.
It has, into a family of 4. We're just split in half.
Two of us walk the Earth while two of us fly in Heaven.

Friday, October 28, 2011

I am very sad.

Evan's baby book is finished.

I am very sad.

I did 8" x 8" Page Prints for Evan's party. Partly because the 12" x 12" prints were too expensive for my taste (yes, even with my consultant discount, for my taste) and partly because I wanted to use some of the Rugged Power Palette papers, ribbons and stickers. I put off ordering my Page Prints because I didn't want Evan's book to be done. I didn't want to be done adding in pictures and writing about him and his cuteness, his smell, his soft little old-man hands, his battle scars, his fuzzy blond hair on his arms, the way I see so much of his Daddy in him, and the way I see so much of him in his Daddy. I could go on...

Today I picked up my Page Prints from the post office and again was shocked at how small 8"x 8" is. (I've used 12" x 12" for aaaaaaaaaaaages.) After I got lunch in the oven (homemade chicken, refried beans and cheese quesadillas, sour cream and ketchup on mine too) I rounded up his books, the papers and accoutrements, my pens and my tape runner and set to work. I haven't put the clear page covers on yet but the pages are in and bound and the spine is about to go on.

The Last Pages.

Today started off not so good with AF rearing her ugly head. It got better as I scored 3 kilos each of chicken breasts at $4.99/kilo and premium lean ground beef at $3.99/kilo. (Thank you Facebook special announcement!) I picked up my package of Page Prints at the post office before heading home.

Patton's Big Gun Butchers, Underwood
I de-skinned the chicken breasts at home (yuck!) and portioned it out into bags for freezing. I did the same with the ground beef and pressed it out really flat so I could stack the bags in my freezer better. I got my kitchen tidied up a bit and started on lunch. Fast forward an hour and a half or so later and the internal meltdown started. Evan's book was done.

My baby boy's book is done and it is like a knife being twisted in my heart all over again. No more new pictures to add, no more little comments to write down. And no little brother or sister on the way for him yet. I was so hoping that we'd be home from the hospital now so Glenn would be able to show off our lil one at his 30th birthday tomorrow. But such is not the case as we're still not pregnant yet after almost a year of trying.

Anyone else fed up with this no-baby-yet shit!?


Julie said...

i am SO fed up. and i completely understand how much it hurts to finish that baby album, and know there will never be more pictures to add. i enjoyed creating kenny's album and found it quite therapeutic, but cried when it was finished.

Dana said...

I am so sad that there won't be more baby pictures to add to Evan's book. Everything about your situation is so unfair. The pages are beautiful. He is so proud of you.

I'm sorry AF showed up. What a disappointment.

I am very fed up with this no-baby -shit-yet too. It seems to be neverending for some of us, while so many others are getting their babies (3 pregnant women at work now and counting....)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...